BOOZE, BLOOD, AND BASKIN-ROBBINS

Have you ever noticed how much convenience is tied to age?

 

Age 10 female:  “Oooh, look Mommy—there’s a Baskin-Robbins right down the street!

Age 10 male:      “Oooh, look Mommy—there’s a Baskin-Robbins right down the street!       

Age 20 female:   “Oh, wow!  T.J Maxx is opening a new store only two streets over!”

Age 20 male:      “Oh, man, look!  There’s a liquor store like, thirty feet from my house.” 

Age 30 female:   “It will be easy to take those courses I need—there’s a community college just a block away.”

Age 30 male:      “Finally bought my dream car—and there’s a garage with a great mechanic right around the corner!” 

Age 40 female:   “One marriage down—who’s next?”

Age 40 male:      “One marriage down—never again!”

Age 50 female:   “How wonderful!  There’s a cosmetic surgeon opening a new practice nearby!”

Age 50 male:      “How wonderful!  They’re opening up the woods at the north end of town for hunting this year!” 

Age 60 female:   “Isn’t it nice that the kids come here for the holidays now?”

Age 60 male:      “I’m always worried one of them is going to move back in.”  

Age 70 female:   “Isn’t it lucky that we have a CVS at the end of the street?”

Age 70 male:      “And it’s open 24 hours!”  

Age 80 female:   “Thank goodness the hospital is so close by.”

Age 80 male:      “A discount lab opened up right next door.” 

Age 90 female:   “Oh, look, dear, there’s a hearing aid store opening downtown."

Age 90 male:      “What?”