August 2, 2013


           Well, it finally happened.
I was forced to go the Motor Vehicles Department this morning.
The MVD is rather like death and taxes – you can’t put any of them off forever.  A trip to the MVD is almost as unavoidable as an IRS audit, and almost as unpleasant.
But who am I telling?  You all know this.
My latest foray into the wonderful world of dealing with state employees took the form of what I thought was a simple errand to get my address changed on my driver’s license.  I had recently moved, and in a rare, law-abiding moment, decided to have my new address (which was in a much better neighborhood than my old one, and I wanted to flaunt it, snob that I am) placed on my license for all arresting officers to see.  A quick trip, in and out.  I just needed one of those little sticker gizmos to put on the back of the license, and I’d be all set.
I don’t know what turnip truck I just fell off of sometimes.
I arrived at the MVD at 10:00 AM sharp, thinking that I would beat the rush if I got there when it opened.
There’s that turnip truck confusion, again.
I joined a line approximately 247 people long and began my wait.  Before I was halfway to the desk, I had read two novels and written the first three chapters of my own.  I glanced up.
It was dark out.
Hours passed.
At midnight, I was a mere ten people from my destination.
The more forward-thinking (and non-turnip truck riding) folks in the crowd had brought food and sleeping bags with them.  There were several campfires burning and, if I listened carefully, I could hear someone playing a guitar.  The faint strains of “Kumbaya” floated up from somewhere in the line behind me that now stretched back to the horizon.
At 2:00 AM, it was my turn.
“I’m here to get my address changed on my license,” I said, stifling a yawn.
The woman behind the counter regarded me with a gimlet eye, and then uttered the five words that no human being can hear and still have the courage to go on living.
“You’re in the wrong line.”

1 comment:

  1. I went ,I made an appointment ,I printed off the forms I would need to fill out .I checked the list of what I would need to bring .I was set, I was wonder woman. I got there I made it to the first human who said I needed my marriage license .## years ago I got married to present husband my license has said so since then .Nowhere in the list did it say I needed that . Drove home got it went back sat in line . No book I was ready I checked made one trip home already .Got to the next human who didn't speak English I didn't speak what he was speaking and he wanted another paper and I was not going home a second time. Finally he asked a fellow worker who said I had all I needed so then he just sat there looking around the room and I waited and waited while he looked about .A woman came in and started to walk to my guy finally he talked and said I'll take her ,I have all her paper work ..Another woman who had been sent home. He must have liked her more than me he went into high gear and put me onto the eye test machine .It blinked over and over so I had to catch the letters between the blinks . I was so proud that I did it :) . He finally passed me on to the next guy . This guy was a woman . She took care of me in 1 second flat .She was the only person in there who had no line . So I feel for you I've been there recently.