For those of you who have always wondered about the answers to the odd questions people sometimes ask, wonder no more. Here are the answers:
Do
fish drink water?
No, fish drink Johnnie Walker Black
Why do cats purr?
To give you a sporting
chance to get your hand out of the way before they clip it off at the wrist
and bury it in their litter box.
What is Zulu time?
It’s like Hammertime, but in ¾
What is the lowest point
on Earth?
WalMart
How many people died in
the Civil War?
Lots
What does the information
on our money represent?
How screwed we are
Is pinto a breed of horse
or just a color?
It is an exploding car
What caused the Great
Depression of 1929?
The lower hemlines of 1928
Has a U.S. vice president
ever been assassinated?
No. Nobody gives enough of a crap to
bother.
Why did Custer choose Garry Owen as his regimental song?
Because “Hit Me with Your
Best Shot” seemed somehow inappropriate
What was the last song
the musician on the Titanic played?
Splish Splash, I was Takin’ a Bath
What is the religious
makeup of the United States
L’Oreal
What is the star closest
to our sun?
Leonardo DiCaprio
How did the sport of
hockey get started?
Two kids beating the crap out of each other on a frozen pond
What is the book that the
Statue of Liberty is holding?
Zen and the Art of
Motorcycle Maintenance
What caused the fire that
destroyed San Francisco?
Swatch friction
What part of the world
gets the most rain?
Any part that has an
outdoor wedding scheduled
Will hot water freeze
faster than cold water?
Don’t be a moron
