June 3, 2014

PAY TOILETS, EXTERMINATORS & LOBSTER TAILS


More Stupid Questions Answered

 

Why do doughnuts have holes?
So rats can use them as life preservers after they chew through the water main beneath the doughnut shop.
 
Why don’t people get goosebumps on their faces?
To keep from frightening little children
 
Why do some places use salt and others use sand to treat icy roads?
Because some places actually want to melt the stuff and other places want to give you a brief sense of security just before you hit the ice under the sand and crash into a tree.  In the latter locales, you will always discover that the police chief’s brother owns the town auto body shop.

When lobster tails are sold to restaurants, what is done with the rest of the lobster?
They are fitted with little platforms with wheels.  You’ll see hundreds of them protesting outside any Red Lobster restaurant. 

Why is the scoring system in tennis so weird?
If you don’t get it, stop complaining and go play baseball, already. 

What is the difference between a kit and a caboodle?
They are both in Cahoots—a small town in Wisconsin—go there and ask them. 

Why is the sky blue?
So we know where to stop mowing. 

Whatever happened to pay toilets?
You could ask me any question and this is the one foremost in your mind?  

Why are all the executions in the USA held between midnight and 7:00 AM?
So the executioners can get in a little overtime 

Why do some ranchers place old boots on fence posts?
Because there’s a guy in town with a wooden leg that they’re all making fun of. 

Why do many Arizona exterminators wear hard hats?
If you saw the size of the scorpions and tarantulas down here, you wouldn’t have to ask.

Why are there 18 holes on a golf course?
So that there can be a 19th hole, without which golfers would be very sad.

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